is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
