i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
