Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
