FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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