Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She's the barista slut.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
