Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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