the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
