did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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