I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
