she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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