Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
