Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You need a sexual gate keeper
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
