She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
