Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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