I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
