We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
