She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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