I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
