What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
