do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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