We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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