so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
