You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
