omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
