So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
