sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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