He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
