he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This baby is an asshole
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
