Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize