What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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