Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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