Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Say something about gay babies.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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