i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize