sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
