so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Fuck appropriateness.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
