Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
