They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
