piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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