I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
