we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
