If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
