Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize