we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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