Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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