What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
