I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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