whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
