why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
