Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
