I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
