Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
