just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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