who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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