can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
