Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
