Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
