last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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