All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
